my four year old likes to whisper secrets in people's ears. Normally she just says "I love you" or even just makes a whispering sound with no words....that's what I was assuming she would do this time. But no. She came up and said she had a secret. So I gave her my ear and she said, are you ready for this..."butt squirts". Seriously. Butt Squirts. When her dad gets home we're going to have a talk, because I'm pretty sure she got that from him.
earlier she was running around in her underwear, as usual, and she was talking about how excited she was to go trick or treating. I told her she couldn't go without her costume (she's going to be a sunflower fairy, whatever the hell that is), and she looked down at herself and said "I'm going to be a naked girl for Halloween". Priceless.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
writers block
Writers block. I have it. This is not a good way to start off my extremely successful blogging career. My last post was just an old blog from my myspace page that I posted like 5 months ago. This isn't good. I'm beginning to panic. What about all the people who depend on my blog to get through their day? What about the dissapointed little children who won't be able to read my inspiring words today? What about the homeless people who won't find copies of my printed out blog laying on the street from when it fell out of that guy's briefcase? You know, the guy who printed out a copy of my blog to take home and frame because it was so thought-provoking? What about the homeless guy counting on my blog??? The world is a sad, sad place when this mother of two has to let down the millions of people counting on her. I'm so ashamed.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Things I have learned
This is actually an older post from my myspace blog, but by popular demand I have brought it over here for people to read as well. It's just a small list I've compiled of some very important life lessons I've learned in the past year or so. Enjoy!
1. Men think that painting skateboards and hanging them on the wall is art.
2. Don't send that same man to the grocery store with a 4 yr old because they will come back with ice cream sandwiches, pizza rolls and cotton candy. true story.
3. Spongebob is on all the freakin' time. It's on Nick, or as I like to call it, the all spongebob channel.
4. Sophie won't eat if you call it dinner or lunch, you have to say it's a snack.
5. Baby puke stains the couch.
6. Band-Aids are hard to get off the bottom of your favorite slippers.
7. Toys somehow end up in the drawer of the refrigerator.
8. Gerbils are extremely messy, and the 4 yr old will not clean up after them.
9. Two adults and one child can sleep in a queen sized bed fairly comfortably.
10. Coffee is a wonderful drug.
11. When you try to take a relaxing, candle-lit bath by yourself, your 4 yr old will stay in the bathroom with you so "you won't be scared". And she somehow always weasels her way into my bath!!!
12. My boyfriend can be super sweet, he made me that wonderful candle-lit bath, with a glass of wine and a book too!
13. A 4 yr old girl and a 29 yr old man both think farts are freakin' hilarious. It's like a brand new joke to them every time.
14. Donnie likes macaroni and cheese with every meal, every night.
15. Your 4 yr old will point to the goth cashier at Shop n Save and say "why is she dressed like Halloween?"
16. The baby wants to be held at the exact same time you sit down to dinner.
17. Don't forget to cook the pasta.
18. Dvd's make great ice scrapers for your windshield.
19. It's hard to find really good friends.
20. Moms have the best stories!
1. Men think that painting skateboards and hanging them on the wall is art.
2. Don't send that same man to the grocery store with a 4 yr old because they will come back with ice cream sandwiches, pizza rolls and cotton candy. true story.
3. Spongebob is on all the freakin' time. It's on Nick, or as I like to call it, the all spongebob channel.
4. Sophie won't eat if you call it dinner or lunch, you have to say it's a snack.
5. Baby puke stains the couch.
6. Band-Aids are hard to get off the bottom of your favorite slippers.
7. Toys somehow end up in the drawer of the refrigerator.
8. Gerbils are extremely messy, and the 4 yr old will not clean up after them.
9. Two adults and one child can sleep in a queen sized bed fairly comfortably.
10. Coffee is a wonderful drug.
11. When you try to take a relaxing, candle-lit bath by yourself, your 4 yr old will stay in the bathroom with you so "you won't be scared". And she somehow always weasels her way into my bath!!!
12. My boyfriend can be super sweet, he made me that wonderful candle-lit bath, with a glass of wine and a book too!
13. A 4 yr old girl and a 29 yr old man both think farts are freakin' hilarious. It's like a brand new joke to them every time.
14. Donnie likes macaroni and cheese with every meal, every night.
15. Your 4 yr old will point to the goth cashier at Shop n Save and say "why is she dressed like Halloween?"
16. The baby wants to be held at the exact same time you sit down to dinner.
17. Don't forget to cook the pasta.
18. Dvd's make great ice scrapers for your windshield.
19. It's hard to find really good friends.
20. Moms have the best stories!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Stupid Glade Commercials
I have had just about enough of those terrible Glade commercials, you know, the ones with the pathologically lying woman? She invites friends over and they smell the candle's scent in the air, and instead of confessing that it is (yikes!) a store bought candle, she must make up some tale about it being very chic and expensive. Apparently people are supposed to be ashamed of having Glade plug-ins in their homes. Does this bother anyone else? The lady is a pathological liar! They're going to need to have a commercial where they stage an intervention.
I've been doing some thinking, and I've come up with some other, better, Glade-related lies.
I've been doing some thinking, and I've come up with some other, better, Glade-related lies.
- The Glade Lady claims she bought the Glade candle, but she really stole it.
- The Glade Lady has a trunkload of stolen Glade candles. When her husband confonts her, she says she won a radio contest.
- The Glade Lady refills her Glade brand Febreeze rip off spray bottle with generic brand Febreeze rip off spray, but tells her friend it's Glade.
- The Glade Lady leaves her Glade Scented Oil Plug In plugged in for weeks after the oil is gone. It sets the house on fire. She blames a lightening strike and collects the insurance.
- The Glade Lady's husband demands that she see a counselor and deal with her compulsion to lie. She pretends to go, but spends the time sniffing Glade Spray at Kroger.
Friday, October 24, 2008
another day...yet no dollar....
I caught Aidan playing in the drawer-under-the-stove-thingy, whatever it's called. He loves it. He stores food in there and goes back for it later. He does that a lot, actually. I know somewhere in this house is a big, fuzzy, dusty pile of Twizzlers. And don't think he won't eat them when he remembers where they are! ewwwwww.
I need to do some major cleaning today. Our room is in the (finished) basement of this house, and we have a small creek running through our backyard. This amounts to lots of bugs, especially crickets, finding their way into our room. I could seriously go downstairs right now and find at least 10 of them in various stages of life or death. They literally get into the wall and keep me up at night. Anyway, I need to do some cleaning down there today or unexpected visitors will get the wrong impression of me...like I'm a busy mom with no time to clean! As if!!
I need to do some major cleaning today. Our room is in the (finished) basement of this house, and we have a small creek running through our backyard. This amounts to lots of bugs, especially crickets, finding their way into our room. I could seriously go downstairs right now and find at least 10 of them in various stages of life or death. They literally get into the wall and keep me up at night. Anyway, I need to do some cleaning down there today or unexpected visitors will get the wrong impression of me...like I'm a busy mom with no time to clean! As if!!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Homeschooling?
Today Donnie and I asked our daughter to count to ten and it didn't go so well. She got to six and then jumped to like 15 or something. I know she's smart, but am afraid she's a bit behind in some things. So before she starts kindergarten next year I want to prepare her a bit. I'm thinking of homeschooling her for an hour or so each weekday. I always wanted to be a teacher!
On to other matters-
last night I gave the kiddies a bath, and as usual Aidan peed the minute he hit the water. Rather than drain it out, I told Sophie that the soap in the water would clean the pee out...was that wrong? It was just a little trickle...anyway, even in the tub they both still looked dirty. It's become the color of their skin- dirt. dirt and crud. and grime. and whatever other words describe crusty kids. But they are darn cute!
I laid Aidan down for a nap earlier and about a half hour later I heard him crying...but not a normal cry. Like a scared, freaked out cry. So, being the concerned mother that I am, I ran to his room and found him somehow caught under a blanket! So I did what any mom would do, ran to get the camera. Don't worry, I didn't leave him under there. I just snapped a couple real quick!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
My very own Blog!
Well, I suppose if this is going to be a successful blog you, the reader, will have to have an emotional attachment to me and my family...and in order for that to happen I have to convince you that I am awesome and amazing...so here is a little bio about me.
My name is Amie and I'm a 27 yr old mother of two. My daughter is 4 and my son is 14 months. My days are spent chasing them, and the dog, around the house and picking up the things they throw around. For instance, the baby likes to throw everything he can get his hands on in the trash can. So I just dug a couple of sissy's socks out of there. I'm also a cook, a referee, a nanny, a maid, a counselor, a chauffeur, a stylist, a mentor, and a warden. And then there's my fiance....a whole other story there!
I love what I do but feel under appreciated most of the time. Some days are longer than others, and to kill time I sit on the computer and pretend I have important business to attend to. I also enjoy a nice glass of wine and a sedative from time to time.
My fiance is a tattoo artist and he's gone for about 10 hours a day, leaving me and the kids and taking the only car we have, forcing me to find fun ways to fill their days. Usually I just let them watch tv, but occasionally I will take them to the park or we'll bake a cake or something like that. I'm not a very hands-on mom, but I'm a damn good one anyway. I like to joke about what I do, but in a very sarcastic, some-people-may-not-get-it way.
So I'm going to break out the wine, and a percocet, and have a toast to myself and my new blog..which I know will be a roaring success! Cheers!
My name is Amie and I'm a 27 yr old mother of two. My daughter is 4 and my son is 14 months. My days are spent chasing them, and the dog, around the house and picking up the things they throw around. For instance, the baby likes to throw everything he can get his hands on in the trash can. So I just dug a couple of sissy's socks out of there. I'm also a cook, a referee, a nanny, a maid, a counselor, a chauffeur, a stylist, a mentor, and a warden. And then there's my fiance....a whole other story there!
I love what I do but feel under appreciated most of the time. Some days are longer than others, and to kill time I sit on the computer and pretend I have important business to attend to. I also enjoy a nice glass of wine and a sedative from time to time.
My fiance is a tattoo artist and he's gone for about 10 hours a day, leaving me and the kids and taking the only car we have, forcing me to find fun ways to fill their days. Usually I just let them watch tv, but occasionally I will take them to the park or we'll bake a cake or something like that. I'm not a very hands-on mom, but I'm a damn good one anyway. I like to joke about what I do, but in a very sarcastic, some-people-may-not-get-it way.
So I'm going to break out the wine, and a percocet, and have a toast to myself and my new blog..which I know will be a roaring success! Cheers!
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