Don't take SOMA- ever!

Wow, okay so here's a story for you...I found a lump on my neck several months ago, and I've gotten two different "diagnoses", one was a muscle that is knotted, and one is a swollen lymph node that may require further testing. In the hopes that it is the former, just a muscle, I was given these muscle relaxers called Soma. I took one for the first time on Friday and fell asleep, no problem. Then came Saturday. Now, I'm supposed to take these 3 times a day, so I took one in the afternoon and told Donnie I was going to go downstairs to lay down because they make me sleepy. I kinda of remember having a dream about bugs crawling on my hand, and then the next thing I know I'm standing in the garage literally BASHING my wrist with the heavy side of a wrench. Seriously. Over and over. I screamed and ran upstairs, looking at my swollen and possibly broken wrist and calling for Donnie. He rushed me to Urgent Care where x-rays revealed it is just a really bad sprain. So now I'm wearing a brace for a few days and my wrist is swollen and turning all sorts of purdy colors. Crazy, right? All because of some muscle relaxer, which is not something new for me to be taking. Because of my fibromyalgia I take them often, just not that particular one. So anyway, yeah, don't take Soma if you're ever offered any!
Today I went to the mall and got the most amazing, beautiful shoes I've ever seen. I saw them and instantly fell in love. They're purple and black plaid pumps. I looked at them, went across the way to another store and bought an outfit to match, and then returned for my prized heels. I'm wearing them now, with my pj's! I think I may sleep in them. They're beautiful.
That is literally about the extent of my life these last few days. Christmas went as expected, the kids opened their presents way too fast and made a big mess, and already they're getting bored of them. But it was wonderful also, I took tons of pics!
How were your Christmases?

Free money anyone?

Hey it's me again! I think I will continue to blog, what's the harm even if no one reads it?
I have been making some extra spending money online lately, not like hundreds of dollars but an extra $50 a month or so just for my own personal spending. Anyway, if any of you are interested here is the link to sign up under me (so I get the referral, of course!). All you do is fill out these surveys. It's monotonous work, but not in any way, shape, or form is it hard. And almost all of those survey sites are scams, by the way. But not this one. You can google it to see, if you like. But I have received several paychecks from them so I know they're legit. I'm going to try to post a link here, though for some reason it never seems to work. If not, please copy and paste!
http://cashcrate.com/977075

Done Blogging?

Okay, everyday I check my blog, and though I continue to write it seems no one cares. I'm wondering if I should keep it up as just a journal for myself, or just let it go. Any objections? Agreements? Anything? Hello...is this thing on???

What I found in my coffee

Santa Claus

You know what I was thinking about earlier? I never believed in Santa Claus. Ever. My parents tried to push him on me, but I was just too skeptical and my logical minded-ness made me say "yeah, right". Is that sad or what? I never believed in any of the holiday "mascots". Were any of you like that?
Well, I bought one of those Ped-Egg things for Donnie because he's always asking me to rub his feet and man are they rough! Seriously, it's like rubbing lotion on a brick. It doesn't absorb any of it because the callouses are so hard, so the lotion just sits on top of the skin. Ewwww. Anyway, I bought him one of those things and kind of as a hint gave it to him today as an early Christmas present. He went right to work and practically filled that little container with disgusting, dry skin flakes. Talk about gross. Anyway, for all you ladies out there there is a Ped Egg for Men that's black (more manly) and is a bit bigger than the original. So the next time your guy sticks his calloused feet out and asks you to rub them you can whip that baby out and go to town. It also works great on his elephant elbows.

Oh @*%&

I'm feeling a flare-up coming on. My fibromyalgia...and I don't have a pain doc anymore cause my insurance changed. I may not write for a bit....

bored and thinking

Nothing great to report. I have a lot on my mind. My friend Jenn is having surgery tomorrow and I'm saying a prayer for her. Oh, and Bettie Page died! You know, the pin-up chick with the black hair and bangs? Sad.
The kids got their pics taken with Santa and it went perfectly. They snapped the pic before Aidan had a chance to react and actually look at Santa, which surely would have sent him into a hysterical tantrum. Why are babies so scared of that guy?
I can't wait for Christmas, personally. I should be saying because of the wonderful spirit that comes over everyone, and the togetherness, and the story of baby Jesus, and blah blah blah. I just want the presents! Wahoooooo presents!

ha!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3i-D55ioIQM

Our Charlie Brown tree (so sad and tiny)

Ow Ow Ow

I had the idea to go to the E.R. in the hopes that they could admit me and pull my teeth out since they have an on-call oral surgeon. Well I waited in the lobby for 5 hours and all I got was a nasty bruise from the I.V. So I found a dentist who really listened and took pity and did it for next to nothing.
So, I got two teeth pulled yesterday. It was absolute agony! Not only was I awake, but the numbing shots didn't work all the way so I could feel them pulling and twisting and rocking my teeth back and forth, I could feel it deep in the root. It hurt! And today I am pretty miserable. It hurts to swallow, my throat hurts, even my ear hurts. I don't feel much like writing so I'll get back to you later.

Big Dissapointment

Well, I drove all the way to St. Charles, which is like an hour away if you drive like me, and found the dental van. It was scary, let me tell you. The chair looked like a normal dentist chair, except for the rust. The walls were dirty and the whole thing moved when the wind blew. AND, there was no running water! Anyway, I sat down in the chair and the dentist poked around a bit and said "well, we can't help you here. You need an oral surgeon. It will require surgery, and we don't have the anesthesia here.". So I am back to square one. Looking for a dentist who will take me and bill Medicaid...which is tough to find because Medicaid is refusing most adult dental.
Bah Humbug.
On a serious note, Donnie's grandmother had a stroke and is in the hospital. We are going to visit her today because they think she had another one last night. What a crazy week it's been....

Ludwig's Angina

It sounds kinda dirty, huh? It's actually a pretty serious condition that's caused by bad wisdom teeth that have been left in too long. I have it. The infection spread to my tongue and I can't talk very well, it's all swollen. And the next place it's headed is my throat, which will close up, thus the "angina". But thankfully tomorrow I will be getting 3 teeth pulled. Yes, I said thankfully. I'm kinda terrified though. Do they put you under? Does it hurt worse during or after? Are they gonna give me lots of happy pills to take my mind off the terrible pain?
Find out all this and more on the next installment of THE ADVENTURES OF A STAY AT HOME MOM!

Damn Judy!

Well, the shopping was actually really fun. We got to Wal-mart at like 4:30 or so and got in line in the front of the store and waited. 15 minutes later the manager comes outside and says "okay, these doors will not be opened until the OTHER line gets in". That's when we realized there was a line on the side of the building that wrapped around the entire side parking lot. Naturally, we were upset. The three of us moseyed our way over to the other side and tried to just blend in and walk in with the front of the over line, but this worker named Judy pulled Diana (sister-in-law) and myself out of the line, somehow Carol (mother in law) was able to get past. I actually started arguing with this Judy chick, she was saying how it wasn't fair that those people had waited so long and we were just butting in...and I said "well, we've been waiting too, nobody told us they weren't going to open the front doors"...I never back down from a good argument! Anyway, she told us to go to the back of the line and actually followed us most of the way! I asked why he was doing that and she said it was because she knew as soon as she turned her back we were gonna butt in line again. She was right, of course, but with her watching us so closely we had to wait at the end of the line. Anyway, by the time we got in there Carol was waiting for us with her whole list in her arms, she had gotten everything she wanted before most people even got in the door! Love it!!! It had helped that the day before she hid a bunch of stuff in the fake plants in the fabric dept....
You should have seen these people, where was the Christmas spirit? Seriously! Pushing and shoving, not to mention TONS of people walking around looking like zombies in their flannel pajama pants. We waited in line for over an hour just to check out. Oh, and on the way we passed good ol' Judy. I said "hey Judy, we got everything we came for!" and she goes "good! see what happens when you wait in line like you're supposed to?" and Diana quips "nope, that's what happens when my mom runs in before you notice her!". We had a good laugh. If I wasn't me, and I was standing behind me in line that day, I would have hated me! But, seeing as I AM me, it was awesome!

Black Friday

Well, I must be crazy. I really mean it this time. It's 3 in the morning and I'm awake, drinking coffee, preparing to be picked up to go Christmas shopping at 4. 4 A.M. !! yeah, apparently there's a 4 in the morning. I'm going with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law...I'm not sure how I got talked into it but they needed extra legs to run. I've never been shopping early on black friday, do people really run like you see on the news? I just picture old ladies getting trampled by women in curlers and slippers running for the last new Elmo toy. Will there be ambulances on hand? I'm kind of looking forward to it as a way to kick off the holiday season, even though we decorated a few days ago.
Hope everyone's turkey day was wonderful. Mine was, well, interesting. A big family fight (not me this time), and a 12 hour hold in the police station will make for a good story next year...
Alright well I'm going to go put my running shoes on and do some stretches....I may have to run over some old ladies!

Happy Wednesday!!!

Hope you are all doing well today. I have to be honest, I really have nothing to blog about today...but the house is a huge, HUGE mess and I'm procrastinating. You know how it is.
Hmmmm, something clever to say. Something funny to write about...not much really. Oh, Sophie asked me for a snack earlier but I was on the phone and kept putting her off, so she resorted to something she learned from her father "I'll give you a dollar if you get me a snack". I'm still waiting for the cash...
Hmmm, well, here's a link to a very funny video, enjoy it! It's about the differences in men and women showering. Darnit, I can't get the link to "link", just highlight it and right click, you'll get there I promise!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYLCdW4Vo74

Warning- gross story ahead!

ah, my wonderfully imaginative daughter. I have yet another hilarious story to share with you, my faithful reader.
Sophie came out of the bathroom a few minutes ago and was looking a bit worried. So, naturally, I asked her what was wrong. She said "well, I peed. And then I pooped. And my brain came out.". I asked her to repeat it please...."yeah, I pooped my brain out!". I said, "okay, then what?" "then I came in here to tell you". "So, where is your brain now?". "It's in the toilet! It's little and black."
Wow. I mean, just, wow. I decided to spare you all from having to see a picture...plus I don't think I really want one either.
I hope I never forget these crazy stories!
Oh, and here's a couple new pics for ya! One of them is Donnie sleeping sitting up. He tries to tell me he just "closes his eyes for a minute and then I yell at him for falling asleep"...but it's just not true. And now I have pics to prove it!

A Blog Call

Hello? Oh, hi. How are you? Me? You know, same ol'. uh... Wow. It's Wednesday. Cool. Not much to blog about. The weather is nice. Nice and autumn-y. Likin' the leaves on the ground. You know, and the smell in the air. I have a lot of housecleaning to do today. Kinda procrastinatin'. So....yeah. Uh, well, I think I hear the baby crying so I have to let you go now. Bye.

What's wrong with this picture?

Migraine???

Oh, so THAT's what has been killing me this last week....a migraine!
I'm on the mend, peeps. I'll be back...I haven't forgotten you!
Please send flowers.

A Desperate Housewife

Okay, not really but doesn't that sound so dramatic?
Not much to report about today, we stuck Donnie's socks on Aidan and he looked like he was wearing tights, see picture below.
Our landlord is stopping by to fix some broken boards on our deck. We have the best landlord...he's blind! Okay, not all the way but he can't drive and can only see lights and darks and the shapes of things. It's great..."no, that's not a stain on the carpet...are your eyes getting worse?", and so on and so forth.
The most exciting thing going on in my life right now is the Indiana Jones lego game on xbox 360. And I don't even like playing video games, but this little lego man stole my heart! My daughter and I sit on the couch in our pj's playing "Diana Jones" all day, it's great. Occasionally I get up to fill the baby's bottle and plug his mouth back up...but for the most part it's about all I've been doing. The thing is, I suck at it and have to use a walkthrough for most of it. I'll try for awhile, and then I'm like "screw it, I can just look this up!". It's like cheating on a test. You know you shouldn't and you can't take full credit for it, but you can't help it when the answers are right there.
Hopefully my next post will be more interesting, I don't want you all to think I'm a video game nerd! Because I'm not....not even a little....

Aidan wearing daddy's socks

For Natasha

I got your comment but I can't comment back!!! I had to go to a third party site and get a counter, here's the link
http://www.blogpatrol.com/
It shows up at the very bottom of your blog.
That is all.
Good day to you.

Well, our car broke down so we had to borrow Donnie's moms car. I hate not having a car. My b-day is on Tuesday, and I wanted to spend the day shopping, preferably by myself. I love my family, but I relish the times I'm by myself. I'll take the long way to the store just to give me a few more minutes of quiet! Anyway, after work last night we went grocery shopping. At 11:00 at night. I was so tired I couldn't think straight and we ended up spending a lot of money...on crap. But tasty, yummy crap. We picked up some fruit snacks and I caught Sophie sticking them in her nose, wanna see?
And she still ate it! Ah, youth. I wonder how many adults do this when they're alone.
I suppose this blog is fairly successful. I don't know what the average traffic on a personal blog is, but I get a bunch of views every day. I gotta keep writing and keep you coming back for more! Only thing is, some days are really boring so I resort to telling old stories or babbling...like today....lovely weather we're having, huh?...how is your family?....did those antibiotics get rid of it?...
ewww.
Do people get my sense of humor?

Stinky Hands

I have nothing really interesting to blog about today, so I'm going to tell you a funny story about my daughter. It's a goodie.
When we were moving into this house we had to take down a ton of wallpaper, and Donnie and Sophie were downstairs in our room tackling this really, really ugly SALMON wallpaper. Not the color, the fish! Seriously. Anyway, Donnie was using vinegar in a spray bottle to loosen the wallpaper, and just making conversation he said "Sophie, my hands stink"! And she said "why?" and he said "Because of the vinegar". She thought a minute and said "my hands stink too" and he said "oh yeah, why is that?" And she said...are you ready for this...."because I put them in my butt crack.".
Ah, what a gem of a story that one is!

A Sunflower Fairy and a Monkey

Shhhh! it's a secret!!!!

my four year old likes to whisper secrets in people's ears. Normally she just says "I love you" or even just makes a whispering sound with no words....that's what I was assuming she would do this time. But no. She came up and said she had a secret. So I gave her my ear and she said, are you ready for this..."butt squirts". Seriously. Butt Squirts. When her dad gets home we're going to have a talk, because I'm pretty sure she got that from him.
earlier she was running around in her underwear, as usual, and she was talking about how excited she was to go trick or treating. I told her she couldn't go without her costume (she's going to be a sunflower fairy, whatever the hell that is), and she looked down at herself and said "I'm going to be a naked girl for Halloween". Priceless.

Getting into the T.P.

writers block

Writers block. I have it. This is not a good way to start off my extremely successful blogging career. My last post was just an old blog from my myspace page that I posted like 5 months ago. This isn't good. I'm beginning to panic. What about all the people who depend on my blog to get through their day? What about the dissapointed little children who won't be able to read my inspiring words today? What about the homeless people who won't find copies of my printed out blog laying on the street from when it fell out of that guy's briefcase? You know, the guy who printed out a copy of my blog to take home and frame because it was so thought-provoking? What about the homeless guy counting on my blog??? The world is a sad, sad place when this mother of two has to let down the millions of people counting on her. I'm so ashamed.

Things I have learned

This is actually an older post from my myspace blog, but by popular demand I have brought it over here for people to read as well. It's just a small list I've compiled of some very important life lessons I've learned in the past year or so. Enjoy!
1. Men think that painting skateboards and hanging them on the wall is art.

2. Don't send that same man to the grocery store with a 4 yr old because they will come back with ice cream sandwiches, pizza rolls and cotton candy. true story.

3. Spongebob is on all the freakin' time. It's on Nick, or as I like to call it, the all spongebob channel.

4. Sophie won't eat if you call it dinner or lunch, you have to say it's a snack.

5. Baby puke stains the couch.

6. Band-Aids are hard to get off the bottom of your favorite slippers.

7. Toys somehow end up in the drawer of the refrigerator.

8. Gerbils are extremely messy, and the 4 yr old will not clean up after them.

9. Two adults and one child can sleep in a queen sized bed fairly comfortably.

10. Coffee is a wonderful drug.

11. When you try to take a relaxing, candle-lit bath by yourself, your 4 yr old will stay in the bathroom with you so "you won't be scared". And she somehow always weasels her way into my bath!!!

12. My boyfriend can be super sweet, he made me that wonderful candle-lit bath, with a glass of wine and a book too!

13. A 4 yr old girl and a 29 yr old man both think farts are freakin' hilarious. It's like a brand new joke to them every time.

14. Donnie likes macaroni and cheese with every meal, every night.

15. Your 4 yr old will point to the goth cashier at Shop n Save and say "why is she dressed like Halloween?"

16. The baby wants to be held at the exact same time you sit down to dinner.

17. Don't forget to cook the pasta.

18. Dvd's make great ice scrapers for your windshield.

19. It's hard to find really good friends.

20. Moms have the best stories!

cute fall picture

Taking the Day Off

I can't be creative and witty all the time. Back off, alright? Geez!

Stupid Glade Commercials

I have had just about enough of those terrible Glade commercials, you know, the ones with the pathologically lying woman? She invites friends over and they smell the candle's scent in the air, and instead of confessing that it is (yikes!) a store bought candle, she must make up some tale about it being very chic and expensive. Apparently people are supposed to be ashamed of having Glade plug-ins in their homes. Does this bother anyone else? The lady is a pathological liar! They're going to need to have a commercial where they stage an intervention.
I've been doing some thinking, and I've come up with some other, better, Glade-related lies.

1. The Glade Lady claims she bought the Glade candle, but she really stole it.
2. The Glade Lady has a trunkload of stolen Glade candles. When her husband confonts her, she says she won a radio contest.
3. The Glade Lady refills her Glade brand Febreeze rip off spray bottle with generic brand Febreeze rip off spray, but tells her friend it's Glade.
4. The Glade Lady leaves her Glade Scented Oil Plug In plugged in for weeks after the oil is gone. It sets the house on fire. She blames a lightening strike and collects the insurance.
5. The Glade Lady's husband demands that she see a counselor and deal with her compulsion to lie. She pretends to go, but spends the time sniffing Glade Spray at Kroger.

I think I'm going to write to the company....

another day...yet no dollar....

I caught Aidan playing in the drawer-under-the-stove-thingy, whatever it's called. He loves it. He stores food in there and goes back for it later. He does that a lot, actually. I know somewhere in this house is a big, fuzzy, dusty pile of Twizzlers. And don't think he won't eat them when he remembers where they are! ewwwwww.
I need to do some major cleaning today. Our room is in the (finished) basement of this house, and we have a small creek running through our backyard. This amounts to lots of bugs, especially crickets, finding their way into our room. I could seriously go downstairs right now and find at least 10 of them in various stages of life or death. They literally get into the wall and keep me up at night. Anyway, I need to do some cleaning down there today or unexpected visitors will get the wrong impression of me...like I'm a busy mom with no time to clean! As if!!

aidan being mischevious

waking donnie up

Aidan and the vacuum

Homeschooling?

Today Donnie and I asked our daughter to count to ten and it didn't go so well. She got to six and then jumped to like 15 or something. I know she's smart, but am afraid she's a bit behind in some things. So before she starts kindergarten next year I want to prepare her a bit. I'm thinking of homeschooling her for an hour or so each weekday. I always wanted to be a teacher!
On to other matters-
last night I gave the kiddies a bath, and as usual Aidan peed the minute he hit the water. Rather than drain it out, I told Sophie that the soap in the water would clean the pee out...was that wrong? It was just a little trickle...anyway, even in the tub they both still looked dirty. It's become the color of their skin- dirt. dirt and crud. and grime. and whatever other words describe crusty kids. But they are darn cute!
I laid Aidan down for a nap earlier and about a half hour later I heard him crying...but not a normal cry. Like a scared, freaked out cry. So, being the concerned mother that I am, I ran to his room and found him somehow caught under a blanket! So I did what any mom would do, ran to get the camera. Don't worry, I didn't leave him under there. I just snapped a couple real quick!

My very own Blog!

Well, I suppose if this is going to be a successful blog you, the reader, will have to have an emotional attachment to me and my family...and in order for that to happen I have to convince you that I am awesome and amazing...so here is a little bio about me.
My name is Amie and I'm a 27 yr old mother of two. My daughter is 4 and my son is 14 months. My days are spent chasing them, and the dog, around the house and picking up the things they throw around. For instance, the baby likes to throw everything he can get his hands on in the trash can. So I just dug a couple of sissy's socks out of there. I'm also a cook, a referee, a nanny, a maid, a counselor, a chauffeur, a stylist, a mentor, and a warden. And then there's my fiance....a whole other story there!
I love what I do but feel under appreciated most of the time. Some days are longer than others, and to kill time I sit on the computer and pretend I have important business to attend to. I also enjoy a nice glass of wine and a sedative from time to time.
My fiance is a tattoo artist and he's gone for about 10 hours a day, leaving me and the kids and taking the only car we have, forcing me to find fun ways to fill their days. Usually I just let them watch tv, but occasionally I will take them to the park or we'll bake a cake or something like that. I'm not a very hands-on mom, but I'm a damn good one anyway. I like to joke about what I do, but in a very sarcastic, some-people-may-not-get-it way.
So I'm going to break out the wine, and a percocet, and have a toast to myself and my new blog..which I know will be a roaring success! Cheers!